Cover Snark: We’re Registered at Crate & Barrel

It’s that time again! Cover Snark Hour!

Amanda: Everyone, I have personal good news!

Tare: That little voice in my head just screamed “NO. THAN?! NOT.”

Maya: Girl, buy it! Look at that plumage!!!!

Elyse: He better do a special dance when he wants to fuck. a lot of head movement

Amanda: Why can’t you be happy for us, Tara?

Tare: I will only accept it if it meets Elyse’s conditions.

Amanda: No, the only dance move you can do is floss.

Sarah: Is that what you’re doing on the cover? I thought it was more like “Heeeey see my dick?” gesture.

Claudia: Are you bringing your relatives for Thanksgiving? That could be awkward.

carrie: On the plus side, you’ll never have to yell at him to put the seat down! On the downside, you have to remember to get out a fresh newspaper every day. Are you one of those birds that brings gifts and does home repairs as a form of courtship because if so congratulations!

Elyse: I didn’t think about the thing without a sphincter…

sneeze: First of all, Amanda, they messed with your… bird… trying to Photoshop pecs and abs on top of his crest. He must be very sad and worried about what all his friends are going to say about him. Second, how do you keep Linus from eating it?

carrie: I feel robbed not seeing what those wings look like.

Tare: Carrie, are we demanding a sequel to see them or just an alternate cover?

carrie: Hmmm… It depends. I’d say an alternate cover, but if book 1 is about dating, then yes, I want a sequel where these crazy kids learn to navigate life together as a couple. Can Amanda Handle Shedding Season? Don’t forget the episode where she uses the last of her birdseed to make a seed cake for a tea party with her human friends!

No ordinary gentleman from Donna Alam.  A man in a jacket without a shirt.  He is definitely dehydrated because his abs make it look like he has big worms under his skin.

By Kelly D.: So many creatures living under her skin. Oh!

Sarah: Looks like ordinary dehydration to me.

Elyse: So remember in men in black when the alien used Edgar’s suit? Yes.

Amanda: Maybe that’s why “he’s not an ordinary gentleman”.

Shana: Would a common gentleman have a less lopsided six pack?

Renegade Lady by Dawn Martens and Emily Minton.  A shirtless man, oiled up and tattooed.  His crotch is hidden by a column of smoke and a motorcycle.

heather: If you can get past the plastic torso, check out his hands. Or rather, where his hands should be. Hey?

Sarah: Is your dick a…bicycle?

carrie: Is he throwing himself on the motorcycle? Is the motorcycle the “Renegade Lady”? Is she a shapeshifter?

Sarah: Have you had so much sex that your orgasms have turned into clouds of dust?

Maya: Ohhhh, it’s a prequel to that movie where a lady has sex with a car!

Elyse: When there is a miasma around your penis, you definitely need medical attention.

Claudia: Yeah, all that pollution can’t be good for your dick.

Shana: Or his hands.

The Writer's Bear by Sophie Stern.  A tough backpacker stands in the snow next to a goofy-eyed baby panda whose proportions are all wrong.

of erin: I would like to recommend a cover for cover snark. I found it at 3:30am while looking for a new book in my library app. This was not a gift I expected my insomnia to give me, I hope it doesn’t haunt my dreams when I finally sleep.

Sarah: That bear has seen some shit.

Elyse: I laughed so much that the coffee went up my nose

Shana: That bear… what the hell?

carrie: Hey, I’d love to read a book about that bear. 100%.

Shana: I think the bear might hate walking in a snowstorm as much as I do.

If the panda reaches her nipples, is it really a baby?

carrie: Maybe the writer is too short

AJ: Had to google it because I thought, “There better be an EXTREMELY good explanation for why a white guy in what appears to be Canada has gotten hold of a giant panda.” AND THERE IT IS. You… is a paranormal

It’s also $3.99 on Kindle and I think I have to do it.

Elyse: You need to fill us

carrie: DO IT, DO IT, DO IT

AJ: Oh, you know! I clicked for science and I’ll let you know.

Laura: I find myself very interested in panda-gate…

AJ officially reported!

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